Friday, June 3, 2011

Update on Reagan's Geneticist Appointment [finally!]

As some of you might have heard, we rescheduled Reagan's geneticist appointment.... Twice. First they had us scheduled with the wrong doctor, then the doctor cancelled her appointment!

Got all of that sorted out and finally went to the appointment yesterday. I won't waste anymore time, so here's the summery:

Geneticist doesn't think it's likely a genetic problem or else her growth pattern would have had problems from the start, instead of falling off at around 5 months.

She does, however, want to test for 2 specific genetic disorders: Celiac's disease and Cystic Fibrosis (both of those disorders are linked if you aren't familiar with them). I don't see Celiac's as a viable worry because she has NONE of the symtoms besides failure to thrive. Cystic Fibrosis does worry me because she has had on-going respiratory problems and infections.

Lastly, the geneticist recommends we see a Immunologist (immune system specialist) because her blood work has comeback consistently with elevated Lymphocytes and low Neutrophil (both white blood cells) which usually indicates her body is fighting something, possibly an infection or something it believes is foreign (like autoimmune disorders).

We see our primary care doctor in about a week who will schedule an appointment for us with an Immunologist and arrange a sweat-test that will determine if she is positive or negative for Cystic Fibrosis. Crossing my fingers. And toes.


I've cried, I've worried, and I've felt dispair about the prospect that my baby is sick. But none of that is helpful for her, so I am moving along and I plan to take things as they come. As of right now, there is hope, so I am hopeful. I'm saving my worry/despair for if/when it's really needed.

Oh and Reagan is doing WONDERFUL, by the way. She is now a toddler! Last week she went through a fake-cry phase that was funny and annoying at the same time. She got over it pretty quick when she didn't get her way. Climbing the stairs (and anything else she can get her leg over) have become her newest obsession, and I'm getting lots of use out of the baby-gate!


Super-Baby!


Super-Baby and her trusty side-kick Moo-moo take a break from crime fighting to read Blues Clues.


At the neighborhood park!


Going to get acquainted with the other kids :)


So.Fly
.

Thanks everybody for your support! :) More updates when they happen!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Um, again.. Sorry.

Yeah I am horrible about updating, I know. But I have an excuse: I've been out of town! And let me tell you, it was no vacation... Rea and I's visit to the family spiraled into a stress-packed week that I'd rather just leave alone & never discuss again. I still love my family, it was just out of anyone's control.

Since I've been home I've been absolutely EXHAUSTED. I didn't get out of bed til almost 11am yesterday. 11-freaking-AM! Today I slept til 9! It's probably been a year since I've slept that late because....

...One year ago this sunday Reagan Belle was brought into this world after 27 long hours of labor. (Who says I don't sacrifice for my child? ;) )



This following weekend is Mother's Day, and last year was my very first Mother's Day when Rea was only 7 days old!

There she is at 7 days! --->

She came at just the right time for Mother's Day, and I was honestly still getting used to the idea of being a Mommy. You'd think I would be used to it already- after all, I did have 9 months of warning that it was going to happen- but it's a pretty enormous concept being the creator and provider of another human being. I don't remember the moment I realized I was a mother, for me it was something I eventually just grew into.. Like a metamorphosis from caterpillar to butterfly. Although sometimes I still feel like I'm just stretching my wings before flying... I'm sure the years ahead have gotta be more challenging than this past year... Cause it was fun as hell. Seriously.



Every time I think she can't get anymore awesome or beautiful, she does! Every time I think I couldn't possibly love her anymore, I my heart stretches just a little bit more to make room. I mean the girl is hilarious... she's a pint-sized baby who likes to act like the whole gallon. Miss Reagan Belle has some big attitude, don't let the sweet face fool you.

<--- See the sweetness?








~~~~ Illustrations of Rea's recent awesome-ness ~~~~




Rea likes to "clean" if we give her a paper towel or baby wipe! She wipes her hands and face, then any and all near-by surfaces!





This is going to be her birthday dress... Taking a picture of her sitting with her back to me was the only way for her to be still enough for a photo.





She was so interested in me painting my toes that she allowed me to paint hers, and even blew on them to dry when I was done!





My baby has a mohawk. Booyah!





Stopping to sniff the flowers... :)






And for a special treat, here's a little video! She is always very carefully imitating and practicing every move I make, which obviously includes kisses and hugs! Rea regularly practices loving on her unicorn and a few other stuffed toys. (But mostly the unicorn... lol).




~~~~~~~ Uber-Quick Health Update ~~~~~~~


In case you missed it, Reagan is getting to see a Geneticist from the Children's Hospital on May 9th. They'll probably ask a lot of questions and make her do more tests, but at least we'll be another step closer. Now that her birthday is finally here, it's starting to seem even more strange that her clothes are mostly 3-6 months; her summer clothes from last year still fit! (So don't get her clothes for her birthday haha, we've got it covered!)

I was also contacted to make an appointment with an Endocrinologist... Get this: for JULY. What a long wait. It's alright, maybe the geneticist will be our last stop.. ? Hope so.

Right now she seems to have a sinus infection... :( Green snot, wet cough and her usual energy is a bit diminished. I picked up antibiotics today from the pharmacy that I didn't fulfill last time she was sick, and got her started on them today. Keeping her comfortable also with a humidifier and LOTS of liquids.

Alright, that's all I've got for today folks, I'll be busy this weekend but should be an update again soonish! :D

Thursday, April 14, 2011

A terrible day is coming...

Yes, I am going to be an alarmist and doomsday-announcer to bring to your attention a horrible day that will soon be upon us...

The day my daughter turns 1.

True, I've known it was coming for a long time now, but it doesn't make it any less cruel or unfair for me. Soon my baby will no longer be a baby anymore. Sort of.

Generations of mothers have been in this exact spot, but I really don't feel anything in common with them, because this time it's MY baby growing up. She's getting older and I can't get back any of those precious moments before she could walk, talk, express her opinion or eat solid foods. It's actually pretty depressing to think about.

These days Rea walks everywhere now like a tiny little doll, saying "hi" and "bye" as well as "daddy" and "mommy." She believes kisses are meant for anything she likes, including books, toys, spoons, paper, phones, ipads.. well, anything! Whenever music is played she starts to dance and wave her hands, and likes to make funny monster noises and faces while chasing me around the house.

Rea cannot un-learn the progress she has made in this first year of her life. While she's still small, things are simpler, and her world revolves around mommy and daddy so we can easily control her environment and protect her from danger, right down to nap times and whats for dinner. But the older she gets the more independence she will demand and the harder it will become to keep her safe and innocent. Now she's demanding to feed herself her own dinner, next thing we know she'll probably be demanding use of the car!

It's just scary watching her grow. I want to protect her so badly, but the older she gets the more impossible that becomes until it's completely out of my power.

By now you've gotta be thinking I'm being extremely dramatic, I mean c'mon, she's only turning ONE! But this year flew by so quickly that if the calendar didn't say so I would NEVER believe it's been that long.

In one more year when she turns 2, I'll probably go through a little spell of mommy-depression all over again. I can't prevent her from growing up, but I think it's okay for me to feel just a little bit sad about it.



Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Now I feel crazy.

All of these doctors appointment, weight checks, urine and blood tests have all been leading up to..... knowing nothing and waiting around.

We saw the doctor for a weight check this morning, she's gained one ounce.. Yippie.

Doc said her thyroid test came back normal, but it's a very basic test and she is sending us to see an Endocrinologist who can look for hormone imbalances and metabolic disorders. We should be getting a call to make an appointment at The Children's Hospital in Chicago within the next two weeks.

She also wants us to see a Geneticist at The Children's Hospital to look at her genes and rule out genetic diseases or disorders. Unfortunately, the wait list for an appointment is a few months...

I get a headache imagining how long this could take to get any solid answers. Part of me wants to throw in the towel and say, obviously she's just small. But the doctor today told me again what I already know: even small babies have a growth pattern. They don't just quit growing for going on 7 months and have horizontal growth charts with no cause. Unless of course, she's a mini freak of nature! (Which I'm kinda pulling for...)

Friday, April 1, 2011

The OFFICIAL Update

Reagan is 11 months old today! One more month til my little princess is a whole YEAR old!!!

Now on to her health update... We saw her pediatrician yesterday to discuss her blood and urine test results. Her urine came back normal, but there were several abnormalities in her blood test. Her doctor emphasized to us that she felt it was likely thyroid related, which although is somewhat rare in infants, is a good prognosis. If it turns out to be a thyroid issue, we simply just have to give her medication, nothing complicated.

There were other abnormalities in her test though that are not connected to thyroid, so in addition to a thyroid test she ordered a CBC (complete blood count, her platelets were high), and a Metabolic test (looks for genetic diseases).

We went to the hospital for the blood test right after her appointment, and this time it was SO MUCH EASIER!!!!! I told the nurse about how difficult it was last time to find a vein and the trauma that came with it, and she called a more experienced nurse in who found the vein in seconds! I was very impressed, and Reagan didn't cry nearly as much. Thank GOD.

The doctor also wants Rea to do another follow-up test in a week or two to check her platelets and carbon dioxide (apparently it was on the low side). She said it could be a fluke that those two were off, but we should double check. I really, really REALLY like how thorough she is being. Finally a doctor is listening to me and investigating!

It's good to know it's not all in my head... It's definitely been implied by some that she has no medical issue, but instead maybe she's "just small" or "needs better nutrition." I have something to say about all that, but I won't say it here.... ;-)

Also noteworthy, they previously prescribed her iron supplements over a month ago after testing her hemoglobin levels at the office, and they were low, which usually indicates anemia, which is most commonly due to low iron. Rea's blood tests showed that in fact she had very HIGH iron, almost too high... No more supplements for her. So of course, I asked the doctor, 'if her iron is high, then what is causing her low hemoglobin and anemia?' The answer was extremely disappointing: the equipment they use to measure hemoglobin is easy to read incorrectly, and she was NEVER anemic. WTF.

As soon as I can get different insurance, I am switching to a new office. I may like this doctor, but the office staff is completely incompetent. First they can't even accurately weigh her, now they also inaccurately measured her hemoglobin levels and wrongly prescribed her supplements that you can overdose on??? (Heard of iron poisoning?? Yeah, it's dangerous). It's ridiculous and unacceptable to me.

Okay, enough ranting.

We should be getting her test results sometime next week; Monday at the earliest for the CBC and Metabolic test, but probably between Wednesday and Friday for the thyroid test. We have an appointment for a weight check already on Wednesday, but we might reschedule if the thyroid test isn't in yet.

To sum it all up for you, we still don't know anything, but we do know that it's not nothing!


P.S. I do not what to speculate about any negative possibilities... I want to wait remain hopeful while I'm waiting for the facts to come in. I would appreciate if you would help me do this! :)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

It's good to laugh about it.

Again: No solid news on Reagan's health. We have her blood test but we don't see the doctor til tomorrow afternoon. I will post an update afterwards when we know more. From what I can tell looking at her blood test though, we will probably end up seeing some specialists soon. More on that after tomorrow's appointment!


Yesterday I had some pretty high and low parenting moments. At the end of it all, I just had to sit down and laugh about it.

Reagan and I were upstairs having a lackadaisical morning talking on the phone with my bluetooth and sipping coffee while she played with her toys on the floor. I was just saying how nice it was to sit and down and not be stressed for a few minutes, when Rea came closer and I got a big whiff of something NASTY. I reluctantly peeked in the top of her diaper and sure enough, there was poopie coming out of her diaper and up her back! YUCK. Since I was talking to a fellow mom, I left her on the phone while I took her to her room to change the monster poopie lurking in her diaper.

It got messy.. She started wiggling like a little earth worm and insisting I let her roll over on her belly, despite the fact that her diaper was half off and half of the poo was still stuck on her. Oh yeah. Next thing I know she's flipped her self over, gotten poo on my sleeve and hand, ALL over her changing table, and on her clothes. Oh and remember, throughout this my friend is still listening on the phone, laughing hysterically.

I realize at this point I will not win the battle with wipes alone, so I stripped off her clothes, held her up and away from me (which made her giggle) and headed to the bathtub! I turned on the shower head and started hosing her off, but there was still a lot of poo stuck on her back and I didn't want poo-particles in my bathtub, so I decided to dash back and grab more wipes.

I sprinted into the bedroom and snatched the wipes, turned on a dime, and sprinted back towards the bathroom.

I just didn't make it very far.

I turned the corner out of her room at full speed and WHAM! ... stubbed my little pinky toe full force into the leg of the couch. HOLY D.A.M.N. I said a few four letter words and rolled around on the floor holding my foot saying "OW OW OW OW OW!!!!" And yes, my friend is STILL laughing hysterically in my ear. Maybe a little more sympathetically than before, but still laughing.

I got Reagan all washed up and in fresh clothes, changed my own clothes and washed my hands up to my elbows before I had a good laugh. My pinky toe is still in pain over 24 hours later, but I don't think it's broken. Jammed, perhaps. Oh, the joys of motherhood...

But truly, it is joyful.

Later that night after Reagan had been in bed for several hours, daddy and I were watching The Colbert Report, eating pizza and talking, when suddenly Reagan begins wailing from her bedroom. She has been sleeping through the night since week two, so when she does wake up we check on her.

Daddy and I both came in this time to evaluate the situation, and she was standing at the edge of her crib waiting. It felt a little chilly in her room so I sent daddy to turn the heat on. The second he left the room, Rea began to cry and pointed after him. She calmed down, but continued to look and point at the door. Finally, I stuck my head out and told him to get back in there with me.

Reagan is becoming an opinionated little child: She didn't want daddy to hold her. Or touch her. Or give her kisses. But she also didn't want him to leave the room. Finally, he sat down on the floor to wait while I rocked her for a bit. She leaned and squirmed to look at daddy on the floor until I finally sat down with her and joined him.

There we sat in the dark, listening to Dave Matthews Band lullabies, Reagan pushing daddy away if he got too close, and I just started giggling. Uncontrollably.. I couldn't stop.

That kid has made me okay with looking like an idiot making funny noises at the grocery store, getting poop on my clothes, jamming my toe, waking up anywhere between 7 to 8 am every morning, and sitting on the floor with her in the dark next to daddy at midnight.

Man I'm really not looking forward to that doctor's visit tomorrow...

Sunday, March 27, 2011

While I'm waiting...

To get it out of the way: no news on Reagan's test results yet, although I spoke to a nurse who said most likely it will be ready on Monday, and I should hear from the doctor then.

In the mean time, I just have to get some things off my chest.

Since Rea's health issues came to the foreground, I have had many friends, family and even strangers calling, messaging, emailing, and facebooking me to say a variety of things, from encouraging words, requesting updates, to ideas and suggestions on what I could try for her. I understand (and appreciate!) that each and every one of these people have good intentions, and are only trying to help because they care. That's touching.

BUT (there's always a but), sometimes I wish they would hold back on the suggestions/ideas. Sometimes what is said may have good intentions behind it, but is really just frustrating for me.

Yes, I've considered perhaps she's just small. Yes, her diet is rich in protein and iron. Yes, I know it could be really simple or really serious, and no I do NOT want to speculate about what it might be until I have her test results back and a direction to look in. As a mother, that's just too painful to go there. And it's not productive.

And finally: NO, I have NOT considered (and will not consider) switching Reagan to formula instead of breastfeeding her. This is the one that really gets me. Again, I acknowledge that those who have suggested this to me had nothing but good intentions when they said it. I just have heard this from too many people now and I'm started to feel offended, and I don't want to be offended because I like and trust all of the people who have suggested it to me.

Let me defend and explain my choice to breastfeed:

Breastfeeding is always the ideal and best form to feed your child. Formula companies have been long and widely criticized for their misinformation, unethical marketing tactics, and downright lies to mothers everywhere. I want no part in it.

There are legitimate reason's that some mothers cannot breastfeed, and should have no shame in it. There are also situations where formula is the only way a baby can eat, and there is no shame in that. I am NOT attacking or criticizing anyone's decision to formula feed their child. Instead I am defending my decision (and right) to breastfeed mine.

Nutritionally, formula can't even touch breastmilk. It's specifically tailored for human babies to optimize their health, growth, brain development, and nutrition. Formula uses cow's milk as a base, and cow's milk is designed specifically for calves development, not human babies. Even adding extra nutrients, formula still does not scratch the surface of the health benefits provided by human breastmilk for human babies.

Nutrition aside, breastmilk contains human stem cells. HUMAN STEM CELLS. Do you know what this means? Dr Mark Cregan (who discovered this amazing fact) explains:

“It is setting the baby up for the perfect development,” he says. “We already know that babies who are breast fed have an IQ advantage and that there’s a raft of other health benefits. Researchers also believe that the protective effects of being breast fed continue well into adult life.

“The point is that many mothers see milks as identical – formula milk and breast milk look the same so they must be the same. But we know now that they are quite different and a lot of the effects of breast milk versus formula don’t become apparent for decades. Formula companies have focussed on matching breast milk’s nutritional qualities but formula can never provide the developmental guidance.”


Need I say more? I already have enough worries about Reagan's health right now, and the LAST thing I would ever consider is taking away one of the biggest health benefits I could ever give her. It's a gift that will last a lifetime, it literally keeps on giving! Without a doubt, Reagan's health issues are despite of my breastmilk, and definitely not because of it.


I know I sound angry, but I'm not. And if you suggested formula to me and you're reading this, I have no hard feelings towards you. It's not you, it's me! This is an issue that I have researched extremely thoroughly, and have strong feelings about. I don't expect anyone else to know all the facts just because I do, and I don't expect anyone to agree with me. I will still like/love you the same no matter your opinion/decision.

All I ask is that you support me too.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Helpless

Today was the big day. We saw the pediatrician and did tests, and I still have lots of questions and no answers.

It turns out the reason her doctor previously hasn't been as concerned as me was because Rea's medical records from before we moved here were never sent over as they should have been! The doctor didn't know this growth problem went back as far as it did. We got the records faxed over finally and did a weight check.

She has lost more weight... and she's still anemic. The doctor also officially diagnosed her with Failure to Thrive (as we suspected). Not good.

They did a urine test at the office and sent us to the hospital to get her blood drawn for some blood tests. What a HORRIFIC experience that was. I'm so glad I didn't have to be there alone, having daddy was a big help. They couldn't find a vein in her arm and had to retry 3 times. I have never heard her cry that way before today. By the third attempt she was screaming so much she started literally having a panic attack to the point she was holding her breath and couldn't seem to breathe. I held her really close and calmed her down as much as possible, and Charles asked if there was any other way to draw the blood besides her arms. With the amount of blood that was needed they said yes, but we finally decided to do a finger prick and draw it out, even though it takes much longer. I hummed to her while they did it, but she still cried until it was over.

We are supposed to get a call in a few days with the results of the blood and urine tests, and her doctor wants her in to have a check up every 2 weeks now to monitor her more closely.

No- we weren't given an idea by the doctor as to what could be the cause. No- I don't have any real idea (or guesses) myself.

I feel completely helpless as a mother. It's probably the absolute worst feeling I've ever felt. For all of the parenting books/websites/articles, homemade organic babyfood, strict breastfeeding, monitoring tv time, monitoring my own diet, and all of the love and attention we shower on her, there is NOTHING more I can humanly do for her. It makes me feel sick to my stomach.

I am hoping and praying her test results find the cause, and that it is something simple and fixable.

All of the love, support, and words of encouragement I've received already today make a difference. To all who have taken the time to say a prayer or give me encouraging words: thank you so much... it was much needed and much appreciated.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Sweet and Sour

Yesterday I had an amazing day with my baby girl. We took the metra into the city with friends and she was a good girl on the train, smiling out the window & happily eating crackers. Downtown we took a walk and had a picnic in a sunny patch in Millennium Park. We had a good time but Reagan needed to take a nap so her and I left the others in the city and hopped on an express train back to the burbs.

On the train together we read her favorite book (The Littlest Kitten), played on the ipad, and looked out the window together. She was very talkative, but not loud, and kept turning around to give me little baby kisses on the lips. Talk about melting your heart into a puddle. Right before we reached our stop she caught the attention of a women across the car from us and began smiling and waving to her, and then burring her face in my shoulder when the women waved back!

Before bedtime last night we played upstairs and I had her rolling on the floor laughing hysterically! She kept making this funny noise to make me laugh too, and was very generous with her kisses.



Overall, her and I just had a great day together. And I don't want to forget that despite all of the bad news and stress that came up yesterday too.

I'm already so stressed about her health, and NOBODY seems to want to just stand next to me to figure this out. People give me suggestions that are so obvious that I'm offended that they think I may not have explored that possibility already. Doctors think I'm "hasty" and yet her dad thinks I'm not doing enough (but he's too busy to attend the doctors appointments). I've been told I'm not listening, but if nothing is being said I don't know what to do about it. I can't win in this situation. It's pretty maddening. No matter what I do, I have somebody pointing the finger at me saying "bad mom." Is it because I am a bad mom? Am I inexperienced? Uncaring? Uneducated?

Tomorrow I am going alone with Reagan to see her pediatrician for a weight check and tests, and hopefully I can make myself heard to the doctors. Hopefully I can manage going through them sticking needles in her legs and giving her a catheter for a urine test without crying. I feel stressed just thinking about it.

On top of this last night I find out that I am not getting my tax return. Apparently for a variety of reasons that I never saw coming, I actually OWE the IRS over $500. Plus they are investigating me because I'm late on student loan payments but I held a job recently (which none of my checks were ever over $200, not exactly much to work with). I don't want to get into too much detail because it will just upset me more than it does already. I'm extremely upset. I have a lot of bills I was very excited to finally pay off, not to mention my family who I owe money to, and now Reagan's dad because I spent his money this week with my friends in town with the promise of repaying it with my tax return. Now I am in a big financial hole with nobody to help me and no time for a new job. I regret EVER attending and wasting money on college. That's what started it all. Hindsight is 20/20.

I have more stresses, but I have to stop talking about it now. If I didn't have Reagan I would have probably already jumped off a building. Every issue I have is affecting other people I know negatively, and it seems I can't do anything lately without causing some one else stress/annoyance/more problems. I just feel like a burden to everyone I know except Reagan.

I know that I will solve my problems and forget how I feel at this moment at some point. But right now I am so extremely stressed I don't even know where to start looking for the solution. I just wish there was somebody holding my hand. That would really help. Hard times are easier when you have support.

What I learned from yesterday is that I have to take the good with the bad. I had an extremely great day, and also an extremely horrible day. Life is like that; it can be incredibly sweet one minute, and then imaginably sour moments later.

Now waiting for another sweet minute.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Failure to Thrive

That damn ear infection snuck back up on us.

Reagan's temperature reached 105 under her arm on Monday, so I immediately brought it down with tylenol & a cold cloth and took her to the emergency room. They said her ear infection was very very mild, but the temperature was dangerously high (after 106 children are in danger for seizures), and her wet cough concerned the doctor so they ordered and x-ray of her chest to check for pneumonia. Thank God she was pneumonia-free, but they said her infection was viral, so as long as I kept her temperature at a safe level it should resolve itself.

My little trooper did a surprisingly great job in the ER, staying up well past her regular bedtime without becoming a brat. All of the nurses commented how good-natured she was (except during her x-ray and when they checked her temperature rectally!).

When we first arrived they weighed her and I was surprised she was 16lbs and 13oz, and less than a week ago at the pediatrician she was 17lbs 4oz... I mentioned this to the nurse and she said one of the scales must be off (almost half a pound is a big influx for a baby in less than a week). She said they check their scales frequently at the hospital (which I believe, it's a super fancy-pansy hospital), so I'm assuming the pediatrician's scale was off.

So basically Reagan never gained any new weight, she's still at the exact same weight she has been for the past 6 months. I am switching pediatricians, that is ridiculous.

Today she's fever-free and feeling great, but I still have lingering worries about her health... A friend who is a nurse heard about Reagan's other symptoms (not growing at all in the last 6 months) and mentioned a general diagnosis I had not heard of called "Failure to Thrive." I googled it and it unfortunately sounded a lot like her symptoms. It said 3 months or more of not growing for a baby was reason for alarm, and that if the underlying cause goes unidentified and untreated, it can lead to delays in development and important milestones. Thus far, Rea is still ahead of schedule on most of her milestones.

The causes for Failure to Thrive are numerous and could be many things: disease, food allergy, genetic disorder, poor nutrition, neglect, and about a thousand others. Many of which I can cross off the list (like poor nutrition and neglect) but many more can only be determined after a battery of tests.

Thankfully I already have a weight-check scheduled for next Wednesday, and tentatively scheduled blood and urine tests pending what her weight is. I wanted to do the tests at her last check up, but the pediatrician said that with her increase in weight (which I have since discovered never actually happened) that she thought I was being too hasty.

What upsets me more than anything is that I am her mother and spend more time with her than anyone, I am 100% in charge of her diet/nutrition, playtime, diaper brands, babysitters, EVERYTHING, and I have been telling my doctor I had a concern for over 2 months now and they have not listened to me or taken it seriously. Yes I am a young mom and my face looks like I'm 12, but that does not mean I am a bad mother or that I don't know what I'm talking about. I have 6 younger brothers and I know what a healthy growing baby should look like. I practically raised the last 4 of them (I was home schooled and stayed home with them a lot) so it's not like I walked into motherhood completely clueless.

I don't have super-powers or "spidey-sense" BUT I do have a mother's instinct, and it's telling me that I need to get to the bottom of this stat. Now to get a doctor on board with my mission...


Saturday, March 12, 2011

Miss Reagan Belle

I feel ashamed how sporadic my posts have become. I apologize. My apology doesn't mean they are going to get more consistant, just means I'm sorry!

Hard for me to even know what I want to say when it's been so long between posts. Things have been so busy lately that it's difficult for me to take the time to write anymore, which is a shame since the only reason I have a blog is because I love to write.

So I'll talk about what has been keeping me so busy: little miss Reagan Belle, who turned 10 months old last week. She is developing ahead of the curve for sure! Since 9months she could wave and say "buh bye" and took her first steps when she was 9 months & 7 days! Lately she's been getting faster & walking longer distances; last night I literally witnessed her running!

Her personality reveals itself more every day, and I love watching her become a little person. Yesterday morning she spent time walking around with a baby wipe "cleaning" things around the house! She wiped down her toys very thoroughly, turning things over to get all sides. At this rate I'll have an extra set of hands to do the dishes and vacuum the floors pretty soon! ;-)


Reagan and I have also seen the doctor a lot in the last month or so especially. First she had an ear infection, and now because of a somewhat baffling health mystery: she is not growing, and hasn't since about 4-5 months old. Granted, she isn't off the charts small for a 10 month old, but she did go from the 70th percentile down to the 5th percentile. That's a big drop. As of her doctors appointment a few weeks ago, she had actually lost a few ounces.

I am small myself (5'2" and <100lbs), so it's not unexpected that Rea would be a little smaller too. But even small babies show growth, even if it's slower than "normal." We were sent first to a nutritionist about a month ago who gave me some good pointers for expanding her diet, but she also told me that her eating habits were highly unlikely the cause of the lack of weight/height increases for the past 5 or 6 months. Regardless, I started feeding Reagan extra, and more "fatty" foods after our visit. She started having one avocado a day (lots of the good fat) and combinations of kidney or white beans pureed with cooked chicken or turkey.

We went for another check up this week and since last month she has gained 7 ounces (finally!) but no height increase. I am not convinced that our worries are over yet, so in 2 weeks she will have another weight/height check up and I will decide if I want them to do some lab tests. I hate putting her through tests, but I need to know what is causing her stunted growth!

The "good" news about all of this is that we've gotten A LOT of use out of all of her 3-6 month clothing! I think all other parents can relate to the feeling that kid's clothes are often "wasted" because they get so little use before they're outgrown. Not Reagan's clothes! They'll probably be too ratty to pass down to anybody else by the time she grows out of them! I will actually be happy when she starts "wasting" clothes again because she's growing.

If anyone has heard that a baby not growing for 5+ months is even semi-normal, please let me know because it would make me feel much better. But honesty is still appreciated above all else. <3


Sunday, February 13, 2011

Things that are ALWAYS in my fridge


I don't diet. I really don't even exercise (yoga, occasionally). People ask me all the time why I'm so skinny, and the answer mostly has to do with my genes, but I do try to keep my food intake healthy and balanced because I want to do fun things when I'm an old lady!

I hear people say things like "well you might as well eat what you want while you're young!" which is a philosophy that will ultimately cut short the good years when you still at least FEEL young. Some health issues and diseases are not preventable, but many of them are! And if you DO have health issues later in life, they will be lessened by smart eating habits when you're young.

Eating healthy doesn't mean eating boring either: it is colorful, flavorful, and filling! Eating healthy doesn't mean going hungry either: I eat til I'm full! And then I go for desert if I want!

It's all about BALANCE.

So here is a list of items I always try to keep in my fridge. One common element you will notice is that none of my "must haves" are animal products; no, I am not vegan or vegetarian, but I understand that while we are omnivores, our bodies function BEST on a mostly plant based diet. I still eat steak & chicken, but I try to limit my meaty-meals to less than 4 times per week.

Without further adieu, here we go:

Avocados

Avocados are nicknamed the miracle fruit for a reason: you can live on a strict diet of avocados and water and have a filling, nutritionally complete diet. They are extremely full of monounsaturated fat (or "good" fat), and can replace meat or fish as a source of high protein in your diet.
The other great thing is the flavor is very subtle, and can be used in many different types of recipes & dishes as a result (I've seen a recipe for an avocado shake!). Of course, there's guacamole, but my two favorite ways to eat it is in an avocado salad (diced or mashed, mixed with spinach, red onion, & tomatos with no dressing, just seasonings!) or in Mango-Avocado Salsa (diced mango, avocado, onion, tomato, diced peaches, a little orange juice, and seasonings like red pepper & garlic salt), which can served fresh over chicken or fish, used as a dip, or eaten with crackers as a snack.
Also if you have babies under 1 (like me), avocados make GREAT baby food. The subtle flavor usually agrees with most babies, and it can be easily mashed with a fork & ready to serve right away (I always add a tiny bit of orange or lemon juice to keep it from oxidizing & turning brown too quickly).


Baby Spinach Leaves
A rich source of iron, and more tasty & versatile than most other green-leafy foods, Spinach has an abundance of uses. I use spinach in almost EVERY meal I make! I add it to pasta sauce, use it as a base for salads, and find other creative ways to get it onto my plate daily. It can be wilted (microwave it for less than 30 seconds) and mixed with sour cream to create a dip (who doesn't love spinach dip??), added to stir fries, rice dishes, or served fresh on a sandwich.

Orange Juice
I still enjoy a cup of coffee every morning, but did you know a glass of orange juice will do the same job? The reason for this is it's high concentration of folic acid (aids brain function) and Vitamin B6 (this is also a great hangover cure, fyi). Additionally, orange juice is most well known for it's Vitamin C, which helps us absorb iron (found in that spinach!) and fight off common viruses like cold & flu! I make sure my daughter gets at least one 4oz bottle of OJ per day!

Whole Grain Foods
I don't claim to understand "no-carb diets" because we NEED carbs for energy! I can imagine myself feeling very slothy & exhausted if I cut out carbs. But there ARE such thing as "empty" carbs, and a large source of those "bad" or "empty" carbs come in the form of white bread, pasta, and rice. Bread, pasta and rice should be in your diet, they are staples! But only when they are WHOLE grain! If you buy wheat bread, you're still not cutting it; breads often are made with brown coloring or caramel to make it look like whole grain. Products that say they are "enriched" are also not as healthy as real, whole grain products. If you read ingredients list and there are more than one gain product listed, make sure the whole grain product is listed FIRST or it probably only contains a tiny amount of it! In addition to good carbs, whole grain foods are also another good natural source of protein!

Dark Chocolate

Dark Chocolate is made from plants, which means it has many of the same healthy benefits as other dark veggies (like spinach!). Dark Chocolate contains flavonoids (antioxidants) which protect the body from aging caused by free radicals (often attributed to the number one cause of death: heart disease). The extreme concentration of antioxidants makes dark chocolate VERY beneficial for you even in small portions (8x more than found in strawberries). It also can help reduce & relax high blood pressure and balance certain hormones.
In addition, it stimulates endorphin production (in the same way sex does) which gives a feeling of pleasure, contains serotonin which acts as an anti-depressant, and theobromine, caffeine and other substances which are stimulants.
I hope I don't have to say that none of the above applies to milk chocolate, right? I have heard complaints from those who prefer milk chocolate saying that dark chocolate tastes bitter to them (I honestly don't taste that, but to each his own), and a good solution might be to use dark chocolate in recipes like cookies! Most do not notice a difference when it's been baked into pasties that are already sweet.
Side note: some researchers say that washing down your dark chocolate with cow's milk will prevent your body from absorbing the antioxidants! Solution might be try Vanilla Soy Milk, its delish!


Red Wine
Red Wine is good in the same way dark chocolate is: its filled with antioxidants that are heart healthy. Not to sound like a broken record, but heart disease is the NUMBER ONE CAUSE of death, more than cancer, aids, and poverty.
The key here though is moderation; alcohol has been shown to be linked to weight gain because of it's empty calories, and also linked to an increased risk of cancer when taken more than the recommended limit (1 drink per day for women, 2 for men. A drink is considered 4oz for wine).
If I haven't frightened you off, you should know that baking or simmering red wine will evaporate the alcohol and leave you with the healthy parts! Try adding it to pasta sauce for flavoring, as a marinade for red meats, flavoring in stir fries and other combination dishes. Another great one is Red Wine Pasta, which involves boiling your almost-cooked pasta in red wine!



Yogurt
Yogurt is rich in protein, calcium, riboflavin, and vitamin B6 and B12. It's amazing nutritional benefits surpass those of regular milk! It aids in digestion and isn't as hard on those who are lactose intolerant as milk. I usually buy a big tub of plain yogurt, which is kinda tangy in its natural form. I like to add warmed honey to sweeten it, and throw in walnuts, berries, granola, fruit, even cereal! Yogurt can also be used when baking, try Yogurt Chocolate Chip Cookies, and substitute in dark chocolate and whole grain flour for a healthier alternative.

Water
Yes, it's an obvious one: WATER! Life on Earth could not exist without water, and neither can our bodies! We are made up of over 70% water, and yet an estimated 75% of Northern Americans are CHRONICALLY dehydrated!! Also, our feeling of thirst is so weak that it is often mistake for hunger. When you feel hungry between meals, try drinking a glass of water first. It will make you feel fuller & is a good way to remind yourself to drink water throughout the day. Also, juice, coffee & soda cause us to loose water, so up-ing your water intake and cutting down on other beverages would also be wise.



So that's it! This is personal list of things I feel are especially important and I always keep on hand and on my dinner plate. I am NOT a professional or a nutritionist, and this is not a weight loss plan of any sorts. When you eat healthy, it should be easier to loose weight (much to do with regulating your metabolism), and some exercise should be involved.

But again, I am no professional, I'm just a mom who tries to eat healthy for myself and my family. Alright, good talk, now all this talk about food is making me hungry, so time to make some dinner! :)

Mothers, Rejoice?


I've read a number of blogs and articles lately authored by mothers describing various bad or unfortunate experiences they had as new moms. They described painful breastfeeding experiences and strange disorders, ruined bodies and obsolete sex lives. They made becoming a new mom sound much more like cruel and unusual punishment than an exciting and rewarding experience.

I'll give it to them, parenthood isn't all peaches and cream. It's a huge adjustment, but I never had viewed it in quite the terms they had... I remember other moms giving me "advice" about how I could lie about what the doctor said after my 6-week check up so I could get out of having sex for a few more months... What??? Then there was those that told me how I was going to blow up and look like a beached whale and that I shouldn't feel bad if I couldn't get back into my jeans within the first year (or two!). After those there were others who would show me their saggy stretch marks and tell me they hoped I had remembered to take before pictures of when I still looked good in a bikini. Moms (especially those that didn't follow through) would tell me terrible, painful, and graphic stories about breastfeeding and how I might as well start saving for a boob job now. And EVERYBODY, regardless whether they were a parent themselves or not, loved to remind me that soon I wouldn't remember what it was like to get an uninterrupted night of sleep.

For the record, every single thing I was warned about so gravely never came to fruition. Nothing.

Somehow, all these popular mommy-horror-stories get lots of pats on the back from fellow moms, and moms who talk about their success stories (for example, like mom & super model Gisele Bundchen) or about the ease that they adapted to life as a mom was for them, they are heavily criticized! They are basically accused of making it all up and falsely romanticizing parenthood.

Why can't we just be happy for our fellow moms? Aren't we all sisters with the same cause? We may each have different methods, but we all love our children and what the best for them and our families, right? So, I wonder, why can we not rejoice when moms have a positive story about motherhood? Perhaps even look for value in them; maybe those moms did something that can be learned from! It doesn't mean they're better or superior women (motherhood is NOT a competition) but there is not one right way, and maybe another mom out there has a positive suggestion that could be useful!


At this point, I would like to take time to REJOICE in my own mothering successes. I have not had the chance to do that thus far unless confiding in my partner or my own mother without the risk of judgement, but I will be ashamed of my good fortune no more!

1)
What I was told - "Say goodbye to your sex life, but don't worry, you won't want it anyway!"

My experience - I picked right back up where I left off. Actually, it was probably better. Oh, and I even had a horrific 27 hour labor and some other details that are way TMI, but that really didn't throw a wet blanket in the romance department after 6 weeks was up.

2)
What I was told - "You're gonna get FAT. It's okay though, we all do, so eat whatever you want! And you have an excuse for at least one year post baby as well. But the stretch marks you'll be trying to cover up for a lifetime. "

My experience - I ate whenever I felt hungry, gained 40lbs while pregnant (which was the recommended amount for my size), and lost it without any special diet or exercise within 4 months of delivering my daughter. I attribute this to breastfeeding (burns an extra 500 calories per day), to good genes (also known as " good luck"), and having a child when I was young while my body can bounce back more easily. As far as stretch marks, I have a few hardly noticeable ones on my legs that don't bother me the least bit, and none anywhere else. And I did not slather my belly with cocoa butter to prevent them like some moms told me I should. Long story short, I'm comfortable with my body and looks exactly the same to me as it did pre-pregnancy. Maybe even better.

3)
What I was told - "Breastfeeding is difficult, painful, and will get in the way of you getting back to your 'normal' life."

My experience- There was a LITTLE bit of truth in this, but every good myth has some. The first two months were somewhat painful, especially when I got an infection in one of my breasts. I have fair skin and which is more sensitive and it took longer for my skin to no longer be irritated by it. I coped with some home remedies (I even tried the cabbage leaves trick, it actually works), and some store bought soothers. Once I got past the initial first phase, it's been amazing. I would go through that first 2 months again TWICE if I had to, it was well worth it. There is a bond between you and your baby that goes beyond description. Plus the added connivence that I never have to take time to prepare a bottle or pay for an expensive tin of powdered formula doesn't hurt either. My daughter is almost to the point I have to start thinking about weening her soon, and honestly feel depressed at the very thought of it. It's obvious she loves it, and I love it too!

4)
What I was told - "Get ready for endless sleepless nights. Bags under your eyes will soon be a permanent fixture on your face."

My experience - My daughter would wake up twice at night until she was 2 weeks old to eat (which with breastfeeding, I could just lay right back down and rest my eyes until she was finished). After that, she miraculously started sleeping through the night, from about 10pm to 8am. Hallelujah! Nowadays she sleeps from 8pm to 8am (mommy is in parent heaven)!
I would like to point out here that I took my own advice and learned something from a fellow mom. While visiting a friend, I noted how easy her kids went down for naps and bed time. She would leave the room and be back minutes later, no cries or complaints from her baby! When I asked her about it, she told me it was the result of training them that when its time to sleep, they put themselves to sleep. Yes, they cry for awhile in the beginning, but they're smart and they learn. (These are tricks learned and perfected from the book "Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo & Robert Buknam, MD).
These days my daughter's bed/nap time routine is simple: I turn on her Dave Matthews Band lullabies, hold her close for a few minutes to calm and relax her, then give her kiss & put her in her crib and close the door! She usual yells at me for about 5 or 10 seconds after I close the door, but then plays with her stuffed hippo and glow worm, and babbles to herself until she drifts off. Money!


So to continue with my streak of honesty here, parenthood so far is more of a breeze and definitely not a hassle. I honestly enjoy it much more than I expected, especially after all the terrifying stories I kept hearing! Yes, I had some plain old good luck involved, but I shouldn't have to feel embarrassed or apologetic for having a good experience. Therefore I won't be, I'm blatantly bragging about how much I am loving every minute of it!