A terrible day is coming...

Yes, I am going to be an alarmist and doomsday-announcer to bring to your attention a horrible day that will soon be upon us...

The day my daughter turns 1.

True, I've known it was coming for a long time now, but it doesn't make it any less cruel or unfair for me. Soon my baby will no longer be a baby anymore. Sort of.

Generations of mothers have been in this exact spot, but I really don't feel anything in common with them, because this time it's MY baby growing up. She's getting older and I can't get back any of those precious moments before she could walk, talk, express her opinion or eat solid foods. It's actually pretty depressing to think about.

These days Rea walks everywhere now like a tiny little doll, saying "hi" and "bye" as well as "daddy" and "mommy." She believes kisses are meant for anything she likes, including books, toys, spoons, paper, phones, ipads.. well, anything! Whenever music is played she starts to dance and wave her hands, and likes to make funny monster noises and faces while chasing me around the house.

Rea cannot un-learn the progress she has made in this first year of her life. While she's still small, things are simpler, and her world revolves around mommy and daddy so we can easily control her environment and protect her from danger, right down to nap times and whats for dinner. But the older she gets the more independence she will demand and the harder it will become to keep her safe and innocent. Now she's demanding to feed herself her own dinner, next thing we know she'll probably be demanding use of the car!

It's just scary watching her grow. I want to protect her so badly, but the older she gets the more impossible that becomes until it's completely out of my power.

By now you've gotta be thinking I'm being extremely dramatic, I mean c'mon, she's only turning ONE! But this year flew by so quickly that if the calendar didn't say so I would NEVER believe it's been that long.

In one more year when she turns 2, I'll probably go through a little spell of mommy-depression all over again. I can't prevent her from growing up, but I think it's okay for me to feel just a little bit sad about it.