But I felt like writing today, gotta get it out of my system!
Quick update:
We moved into a house in the burbs! :) It's in a cute little community and its a cute little house! I loooove it compared to our condo!
Reagan is almost 5 months now, and in about a month I'm going to introduce solid foods! This also means I am going to be going back to work again and I can't lie that I'm a little bit nervous... Even being home all day I am CONSTANTLY busy! I'm cleaning, doing laundry, taking care of the baby, organizing our home, coordinating the family, making dinner... and sometimes I don't even have time to take care of myself. I forget to shower or eat or both some days. How the hell am I going to continue taking care of the family, myself, the house, AND work? I also really don't want to stick Reagan in daycare. What is the point of having a kid if somebody else raises them for you while you go to work? There's gotta be a balance, I just need to find it.
Also on that same note, I get the impression from certain people sometimes that they think I must have it easy, like I must do nothing and lay around all day eating bon-bons and playing with my cute baby. Let me tell you that is NOT true and it REALLY PISSES ME OFF. Okay got that off my chest. Moving on.
After moving we have zero left in our savings, it's going to take us a bit to get back in the clear! I am DYING to do some fall shopping, but I have to hold myself back until our heads are above water again. I want to get new things for the house and I want to buy new cloths and I want to go to the spa! I want I want I want!!! I need to reel myself in and stop feeling so selfish. Charles's dad had a second heart attack this week and we don't even have the gas to drive to see him in the hospital, or afford for him to take a day off of work. I know that this is really hard on him, and I hate that there isn't anything I can do to help the situation.
After moving we have zero left in our savings, it's going to take us a bit to get back in the clear! I am DYING to do some fall shopping, but I have to hold myself back until our heads are above water again. I want to get new things for the house and I want to buy new cloths and I want to go to the spa! I want I want I want!!! I need to reel myself in and stop feeling so selfish. Charles's dad had a second heart attack this week and we don't even have the gas to drive to see him in the hospital, or afford for him to take a day off of work. I know that this is really hard on him, and I hate that there isn't anything I can do to help the situation.
I've been stressing so much about moving and money that I didn't realize until yesterday that my birthday is on Wednesday! I have NOTHING planned, no money to spend on going out, Charles works, and no friends to celebrate it with.. This year will be the 3rd year in a row that I haven't celebrated my birthday. Should I be depressed? Maybe it's just a sign that I'm a grown-up now. I've decided that I'm going to ignore my birthday for now so I don't feel upset about it and promise to celebrate next year...but that's the same things I've said the last 2 years.
This year has just FLOWN by anyway.. I can't believe it's already September!
September has always been my favorite month of the year for many reasons. Obviously, it's my birthday month. The grass is still green but the trees are vibrant hot shades of yellow, orange and red, and the air has such a deliciously refreshing scent with a hint of that cozy campfire smell. Also it has the BEST weather all year; its not too hot, not too cold, and I can wear boots again and cute layers. I'm a little on the skinny side, so I love sporting the layered-look because I don't look so much like a crack addict (I'm not exaggerating).
Speaking of skinny, I am REALLY missing my baby weight! I've lost ALL of it and then some :-/ I know other mothers out there probably want to slap me for saying this, but I've always struggled with my weight. I have been accused of having an eating disorder since I was in middle school because no matter how many burgers I eat, I still end up looking like Olive Oil. It's just in my genes. I never minded it that much until I got to experience having some curves during and right after pregnancy... I haven't even been exercising and I swear every time I step on a scale I've lost another 5lbs! Not sure what to do since I am an avid heath-nut and I LOVE vegetables, so I don't want to switch my snacking to unhealthy fatty foods or nutritionally empty sweets.
Topic change!
I think I want to seriously update my blog. I mean like a complete overhaul. I haven't been satisfied with it from the start but I don't know how to do all that fancy stuff. I want a custom back ground, header, and I want a newer/better title! I just don't have the time to figure it all out. I'm going to have to experiment I guess!
Another topic change!
So this entire post turned into more of a vent than an update. I didn't even realize that I need to vent until I started writing. I can't wait til everything calms down and things aren't so hectic. These past 2 (maybe 3?) months have been some of the hardest. Anything that could have gone wrong, did. And every time I thought, 'well it can't get any worse than this,' it did. But we did move finally so maybe that's a sign things are getting better again.
Well I have to get back to my duties... there's laundry to be done and it's after 5pm and I'm still in my PJ's. Plus Reagan is babbling saying "baaa ba baa ba ba baaaaa ba ba BA!" on the floor which means she wants my attention. I love my life, I love my life, I love my life *clicking my ruby red slippers*
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