Christmas Eve

7am Christmas Morning

Reagan Belle's first Christmas

Despite our car battery dying suddenly 2 days before our departure, plus the alternator going out, an oil leak, not to mention being flat broke: we made it to The Farm for Christmas! That's a 7 hour total drive to my grandparent's ranch to the sticks in Missouri. On our way we made stops at other relatives to break up the trip, and even to ditch our unlucky SUV in place of a smaller (but working) vehicle.

We had our discouraged moments and feelings of doubt about ever arriving at our destination... but call it a Christmas miracle, it was one of my favorite Christmas's to date!

I made gift baskets for our relative's families with homemade cookies and candy, homemade cranberry jam, a personalized ornament designed and made by moi, and a few choice accessories for the girls. Everybody seemed happy with their presents! :) I was pretty happy with ours too, we got a new 52 piece set of dishes and kitchenware, a bathroom rug, an electric mixer, a super fuzzy blanket, and of course lots of cute outfits and toys for Reagan!

The coolest thing we came home with though was some 3D artwork my grandma had made years ago that we found in storage while exploring her basement!

It's a spider web made of one long continuous thread. I painted the frame black after we got home to make it pop more on the wall in our dining room (see left). We are in love with it!

We built a bonfire and told stories outside in the cold, drank too much champagne/beer/wine than necessary, had some heated disagreements while playing spades/hearts/rummy, investigated and researched antiques around the house (some dated back to the early 1800s and had Free Mason symbols on them), and ate some AMAZING food. It was well worth the initial difficulties!

Website update:

Since I got so much great feedback about the gift baskets I made for everyone, I'm thinking of adding that on MommyWantsOnline.com. Personalized and custom baskets: for whoever and for whatever! In an effort to network with people around me, maybe I'll have the option to include items made by others in my community (like for example, I just tried some fabulous locally made wine), and then they can help cross market me as well.

Right now the site has all of the frame-work finished. The truth is I need to get some products together! :D And I need to be crankin' out some more of these blogs for your reading pleasure! Plus I have a few new recipes that need to go up soon, including apple crisps and apple taffy salad (grandma's recipe)!


Tomorrow is the last day of 2010, good luck to everyone in the new year!

Merry Christmas

Preview of what I'm working on for the ladies in my family! ^ It's a mixture of flower pins, hair ties, hair clips & a button-cluster headband. I've decided I am too broke to spend a fortune on everyone this year, but I want to give everybody something special! What gift could be more special than one handmade with that person in mind? (And would could be cheaper??). Can't go into too much detail about WHO these gifts are intended for.. :D But they were all pretty easy to make, just took a few dabs of hot glue and a couple of stitches.

In addition to these, I am going to be making some edible gifts as well! Including jam, chocolates, and holiday cookies (all made by muah). As far as presentation, I've decided I'm going to first check out Good Will and see what kind of containers/baskets/jars/ect they have that would be more unique than a batch of uniform containers from Hobby Lobby or Walmart. Now SHHHHHHH don't tell anybody what I'm doing!!!

Now time to make dinner :)

Thanksgiving is sneaking up on me... yikes only 4 more days left before I host my FIRST Thanksgiving dinner at MY house! Ahhhh!! Ok I'm fine... really I'm not nervous... but I have been practicing my sidedishes all week with dinner (just in case).

Thought I'd share in my experiments! I have some other dishes coming up in future blogs, like cranberry jam, pear jam, and some holiday inspired cookies as well!

Tonight after our left over dinner I decided to do some tests on some Thanksgiving bread choices. I came up with two different recipes, and I really like them equally, so I might make them both! :P

Cinnamon-Nutmeg Beer Biscuits

First one was inspired by the beer biscuits I used to see my grandmother make in her kitchen on the farm (laugh it up), which were always very rich & crumbly. This made about 5 or 6, here's what I did:

Preheat oven to 450

Aprox. 1 & 1/2 cups all-purpose mix
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 Tblsp ground cinnamon
1/2 Tblsp ground nutmeg
Aprox. 1/2 of a 12oz. bottle of the beer of your choice

Mix first four ingredients together before adding beer. Mix together til googey dough forms. Drop heaping spoonfuls onto a non-stick baking sheet 2in apart, and lightly dust tops with another pinch of cinnamon & nutmeg. Bake for 8-10 minutes.

Serve hot with butter or with whipped cream cheese (bonus if it's flavored as well with cinnamon & walnuts!). These would be good as a flavor balanced side dish, little bit of sweet to go with your spicy and salty dishes.

Shortbread and Hot Pear Topping

This recipe was sort of thought up while my batch of beer biscuits were in the oven. This recipe only makes about 8 short cakes.
Shortcakes:

Preheat 450

2 cups all-purpose mix
3 Tblsp sugar
3 Tblsp melted butter
1/3 milk

Mix together all ingredients. Drop heaping spoon fulls of dough onto baking sheet, and bake for 9 or 10 minutes (or until lightly golden brown on top).

Meanwhile....

Hot Pear Topping

2 sliced ripe pears, loosely chopped (or get creative, what other fruits in your kitchen might be good?)
1 & 1/2 Tblsp cinnamon
1 & 1/2 Tblsp nutmeg
3-4 Tblsp butter

First boil chopped pears on the stove for a few minutes, until they are soft. Drain the pears, and leave in the pot, returning to heat. Quickly add remainder of ingredients, and simmer for several minutes.

When short bread is baked and your hot pear topping (or other fruit topping! :) has been simmering for a few minutes, serve short cakes with a helping of your hot pear topping poured over top! This would be a great Thanksgiving day breakfast pastry to go with your coffee that won't stretch your stomach out too soon! Or if you're too full for pumpkin pie, this would be great after dinner as well (of course, with more coffee!!!).


Besides my cooking adventures today, I also began making my first Christmas gifts for relatives this year! I've decided I am not buying gifts for anyone this year... I'm MAKING them! This will include some edibles like Christmas chocolates, holiday cookies, and seasonal jams.... Today I made some accessories for my female relatives, I'll try to get some pictures up tomorrow. Maybe... I just wouldn't want their intended recipients to see them!! I'll consider it..


PS Leave me a comment if you have ideas or you try new things with these recipes! :)

'Mommyhood' as I see it

Being a parent can be a mixture of complex emotions... it's wonderful, its horrible, it inflates your ego, yet daily makes you realize you understand absolutely nothing. Parenthood can make you happy, and also a big sap who cries at even comedies. I can't even watch the local news anymore without risk of tearing up over a story.

Kids have a knack for ruining intimate moments, waking up at 5 am on your day off, and puking all over you right before you walk out the door... yet one smile will melt your heart instantly. How can you stay frustrated with the innocent, trusting little face smiling up at you after they made a poopie in their diaper that also is on the carpet.

Parenthood is a sacrifice. I can only vacuum the floors when she's not home, and I have to blow-dry my hair with the door closed while she's downstairs so she doesn't get scared. She wakes up early just to go right back to sleep in bed with mommy and daddy, and somehow takes up more space than a full grown adult. Not to mention she hampers "me-time" to write, do my nails, shop, even take a shower some days.

But, parenthood is also rewarding. She "flaps" her arms and shrieks with excitement when mommy or daddy unexpectedly appear, and loves to give us sloppy kisses while squeezing our faces and sometimes slips in a little tongue. She's a superb cuddler and wakes up from every nap laughing in her crib. Even the most stressful situations and rainiest days have a little sunshine because of her happy, chubby face.

Aaaand I just heard what sounds like it will be a MAJOR diaper change.... Mommy's gotta go!

If I wasn't blonde before, I sure am now

I did my first errands living in our new suburban neighborhood today. I can tell it's going to take me awhile before I can turn off my GPS when I go anywhere. I only traveled within a 5 to 6 mile radius, but everything looked the same and I really never had a clue where the heck I was.

I went to Jewel-Osco to get some necessities, including some steak (because it looked irresistible, and I decided I deserved it). I've obviously never visited this particular Jewel before, so I was a little lost at first where to find anything. I saw a women wearing a landyard with those little buttons all over it talking to another shopper, so I waited to ask her where I would find dairy products. After the other shopper thanked her for her help, I said 'excuse me if you're not busy, do you think you could point me to where I would find cheese?' She looked at me very confused, paused, and replied, 'I'm sorry, what?' ............. That's when it hit me: she was NOT an employee. I was able to laugh and explained I was confused because of her landyard; turns out she's a school teacher! She complimented me on my dress, and after parting ways I turned down the next isle, only to find the cheese and dairy jackpot! Whoops.

Reagan was with me of course, although sleeping most of the grocery portion of the trip. At the register she woke up and was smiling at me while we waited in line. I went to the front of the cart to start unloading things, and the little old lady behind me started coo-ing at her and tickling her toes. To my complete surprise, Reagan put out her bottom lip and burst into tears. She's always been very friendly with strangers. I said this to the women, and upon reflection I realize this probably made her feel 10 times worse than she did already for making a baby cry. The women must have apologized to me 5 times and now I realize I probably guilted her into it... Whoops again. Total fail.

My next destination was to Gymboree. I had purchased some clothes for Reagan there a few weeks ago only to notice once I got home that I bought EVERYTHING in the wrong size. I exchanged the items (they were even having a sale this time!) with the intention of only purchasing what I was getting back for my returns. After picking everything out I saw an adorable white headband with a purple tulle bow for $4 by the register. She was already wearing a headband but I loosely threw it over her head to check that it fit, and decided that for 4 bucks I'd get it. Once I was home I wanted to try on some of the clothes to double check they fit her right. Everything was perfect... except the damn headband! It was huge. Whoops... AGAIN! No idea how I didn't see that the first time.

I have the car because of the errands, so I still have to pick up Charles from the studio in 45 minutes... Hoping I don't have any more blonde moments between now and then! :-/

Reagan hanging out watching me blog... she has no idea her mom is a ditz.

Last day

Tomorrow (my birthday) is officially the first day of autumn (random fact: the new season doesn't start til 10pm tomorrow!). My parents considered naming me Autumn, but then decided to go on a Biblical naming-streak, and named all 8 of us after characters in the Bible. Plus my mom's name is Gail Ann, and said she always wanted a "full name" growing up, so I got to be Abigail Ann. I'm officially rambling already.

As it turns out, I am apparently hosting thanksgiving at our new house this year. The first potential problem I can see is that we don't even have a table. Yup, not even barstools for the breakfast counter. Secondly I am used to cooking for two, so cooking for 6+ is already making me slightly uneasy. I guess that's still relatively far off so maybe I should stop worrying and assume its all going to take care of itself! Or maybe I should invite my mother as well and hope that she helps me make sense of the mayhem.

Next month my friend Sammone is coming up from St. Louis with our friend Meghan (aka Richard, cause yeah, she's a dick), and I'm seriously so excited. I saw them when I was in St. Louis over Labor Day weekend, and we went out for some martinis and I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants at the bar. I'm also excited that Sammone is bringing me some of her gorgeous paintings!! When I was at her house she had some abstract ones with liquid silver paint that were stunning, and she's making me some look-alikes! Above are a few of her sold paintings that I ripped off facebook. :) I really dig the purple lips. Purple is just my ultimate favorite color. In high school she did an amazing black and white portrait of me that my grandma keeps at her house now. She is so friggin' talented.

So coming around full circle, I've decided that although I'm going to ignore the fact that tomorrow is my official birth date, I am going to hold off until the girls get here and celebrate with them instead of waiting until next year, again. Sammone and I were both preggo on our 21st birthday's so we need to make up for that finally! Richard is still single and racking up mountains of student loans in art school, but our celebration couldn't be complete without her madness.

Glad I've given myself something to look forward to; it colors everything differently in the present went you have something in the future to be excited about.

Sorry For Neglecting You...

I've been a wee bit busy :-)

But I felt like writing today, gotta get it out of my system!

Quick update:

We moved into a house in the burbs! :) It's in a cute little community and its a cute little house! I loooove it compared to our condo!

Reagan is almost 5 months now, and in about a month I'm going to introduce solid foods! This also means I am going to be going back to work again and I can't lie that I'm a little bit nervous... Even being home all day I am CONSTANTLY busy! I'm cleaning, doing laundry, taking care of the baby, organizing our home, coordinating the family, making dinner... and sometimes I don't even have time to take care of myself. I forget to shower or eat or both some days. How the hell am I going to continue taking care of the family, myself, the house, AND work? I also really don't want to stick Reagan in daycare. What is the point of having a kid if somebody else raises them for you while you go to work? There's gotta be a balance, I just need to find it.

Also on that same note, I get the impression from certain people sometimes that they think I must have it easy, like I must do nothing and lay around all day eating bon-bons and playing with my cute baby. Let me tell you that is NOT true and it REALLY PISSES ME OFF. Okay got that off my chest. Moving on.

After moving we have zero left in our savings, it's going to take us a bit to get back in the clear! I am DYING to do some fall shopping, but I have to hold myself back until our heads are above water again. I want to get new things for the house and I want to buy new cloths and I want to go to the spa! I want I want I want!!! I need to reel myself in and stop feeling so selfish. Charles's dad had a second heart attack this week and we don't even have the gas to drive to see him in the hospital, or afford for him to take a day off of work. I know that this is really hard on him, and I hate that there isn't anything I can do to help the situation.

I've been stressing so much about moving and money that I didn't realize until yesterday that my birthday is on Wednesday! I have NOTHING planned, no money to spend on going out, Charles works, and no friends to celebrate it with.. This year will be the 3rd year in a row that I haven't celebrated my birthday. Should I be depressed? Maybe it's just a sign that I'm a grown-up now. I've decided that I'm going to ignore my birthday for now so I don't feel upset about it and promise to celebrate next year...but that's the same things I've said the last 2 years.

This year has just FLOWN by anyway.. I can't believe it's already September!

September has always been my favorite month of the year for many reasons. Obviously, it's my birthday month. The grass is still green but the trees are vibrant hot shades of yellow, orange and red, and the air has such a deliciously refreshing scent with a hint of that cozy campfire smell. Also it has the BEST weather all year; its not too hot, not too cold, and I can wear boots again and cute layers. I'm a little on the skinny side, so I love sporting the layered-look because I don't look so much like a crack addict (I'm not exaggerating).

Speaking of skinny, I am REALLY missing my baby weight! I've lost ALL of it and then some :-/ I know other mothers out there probably want to slap me for saying this, but I've always struggled with my weight. I have been accused of having an eating disorder since I was in middle school because no matter how many burgers I eat, I still end up looking like Olive Oil. It's just in my genes. I never minded it that much until I got to experience having some curves during and right after pregnancy... I haven't even been exercising and I swear every time I step on a scale I've lost another 5lbs! Not sure what to do since I am an avid heath-nut and I LOVE vegetables, so I don't want to switch my snacking to unhealthy fatty foods or nutritionally empty sweets.

Topic change!

I think I want to seriously update my blog. I mean like a complete overhaul. I haven't been satisfied with it from the start but I don't know how to do all that fancy stuff. I want a custom back ground, header, and I want a newer/better title! I just don't have the time to figure it all out. I'm going to have to experiment I guess!

Another topic change!

So this entire post turned into more of a vent than an update. I didn't even realize that I need to vent until I started writing. I can't wait til everything calms down and things aren't so hectic. These past 2 (maybe 3?) months have been some of the hardest. Anything that could have gone wrong, did. And every time I thought, 'well it can't get any worse than this,' it did. But we did move finally so maybe that's a sign things are getting better again.

Well I have to get back to my duties... there's laundry to be done and it's after 5pm and I'm still in my PJ's. Plus Reagan is babbling saying "baaa ba baa ba ba baaaaa ba ba BA!" on the floor which means she wants my attention. I love my life, I love my life, I love my life *clicking my ruby red slippers*

"Wow, she's like a little person now!"

^ quote courtesy of Reagan's daddy :)

What he meant by that is Reagan is no longer the little bundle we brought home from the hospital, she's developing a very distinct personality! She is one of the most care-free and happy babies I've known. Instead of crying when she's hungry, she "yells" at us, and I tease her because she kind of sounds like a little cow when she does!! "Moooo!!" Every morning she wakes up smiling and laughing; I love waking up to her happy face!

She's also become much more aware of her surroundings, and has taken an interest in a few of her toys! She'll talk to them, laugh at them, kiss or slobber on them, and even yells at them when she's displeased (usually if they become out of reach). She enjoys playtime with mommy and daddy too, and likes to be tossed in the air or tickled. Her hands are becoming more coordinated, and she likes to chew on her fists, grab anything close to her, including daddy's face when he's close enough to her!

I also can definitely see Reagan being a bit of a flirt. She smiles at strangers and laughs out loud when anybody talks to her! She's not shy! We are so blessed to have such a pleasant baby.

It's amazing watching her develop. Every day I notice something new she's learned, and I get a front row seat watching her practice new things and learn her likes and dislikes. I'm so lucky to call her mine. :)

I love my chubby, healthy baby!

I was on Twitter this morning and read a very disterbing article about infant-formula posted by @TheNewbornBaby... I chose to breast feed for several reasons, none of which were because I thought formula was dangerous... but now I'm especially glad I did not!

For me it seemed natural to breastfeed; 1) my mom breastfed all 8 of me and my brothers (so did all of my aunts), 2) it's obviously more cost effective than formula, 3) plus I am a hippie at heart and anything natural I almost always assume is healthier.

I am a believer in convienence, but not at the cost of my baby's health. It would be easier on my schedule to formula feed Reagan because I could work and leave her with a qualified care-taker, go out for the day, or go on a vacation even.. That might seem "good" for me, but is that good for my baby? I was never convinced it was.

In defense of mom's who've chosen to formula feed, I'm sure they made the most informed decision they could with the information available. What I think is wrong is that the information moms really need to know is NOT available because the formula industry is a multi-million dollar industry that could collapse if more woman chose to breastfeed instead. And I honestly can't imagine ANY mom wanting to formula feed her baby after reading this...

All mommies, future moms, and even women who know other moms should read this article!!!

Click here to read the full article on the serious and deadly risk factors directly due to infant formula.

p.s. I would have organized this article differently, although all of the info presented was eye opening, the most shocking and damning information came in the second half towards the end of the article... so keep reading!

Whoops!

So I've neglected my blog for about a week now... oops! Things get busy and time flies..... Reagan will be 2 months old tomorrow!!!

Seems like she's been here forever, and like it was just yesterday we came home from the hospital, all at the same time. I seriously lucked out having such a laid back baby, she has settled so well into our schedule and our lives! I feel incredibly blessed to have her every day.

Lately she's taken to being much more vocal than previously. She yells (not cries) when she wants our attention (or when we block the tv, no joke), and squeals and coos with delight when we talk to her or tickle her. :) It's too precious for words! I have a feeling she's going to be an early talker, she likes to communicate vocally with us.

Reagan also seems to have come to love her hands! When she can get them to cooperate, she'll suck or chew on her fists endlessly... or until they are out of her reach and then she yells with frustration.

Right now she's lounging in my lap watching me type, and going to work on her fists! She's got slobber all over her face now! SMH. Alright, play time!

There is nothing like family

Spending time right now with all of the people I love and care about the MOST. After a loooong drive we made it to "the farm" where my grandparents live yesterday afternoon.. I'll have to put a picture or two up once we get home.

Charles and Reagan are a hit! I think they have been the most popular people at our family gathering (there about 25 of us here). My grandma is still pretty old fashion and she had Charles sleep in his own bedroom and put me and Reagan with my mom haha!

Really appreciating the people in my life! Sometimes I don't really know how I got so lucky with everything... seems like even when I screw up somehow it turns out to be something wonderful.

Time to get back to all the wonderful peoples here :) Leaving at 6:30am tomorrow, stopping in Springfield to see Maria, and then should be back home in Chicago by tomorrow night! Hope our place is intact, been hearing about the extreme weather the city got this weekend!!!

Well I'll be darned.

Just read an article that says I need to be cleaning Reagan's gums already to prevent tooth decay!!! Not only that, but I need to do it after EVERY feeding... oh my... Babies really should come with a COMPLETE instruction manual.

Tickled Pink

Spending most of the day with Reagan, Daddy is out bringing home the bacon right now!

Getting excited about seeing my family this weekend!!! It's been too long already, haven't seen anyone but my mom since Christmas. I miss them so much! Plus I know they're all going to go crazy over Reagan, I doubt I'll even get to hold her much unless it's time for her to eat haha!

I know Charles is probably a little anxious about meeting my entire family at the same time and spending the whole weekend with them, but if you're reading this right now baby, you shouldn't be!!! I have a feeling him and Reagan might replace me as the family favorite. :P

Need to clean things up around here, there's still coffee cups, pajamas and cereal bowls laying around. Might need one more cup of coffee anyway to keep me going...

Reagan is a Lakers Fan

When the Celtics beat the Lakers in game5 she was fussy the whole night. Right now they're up by 20 points and she's hanging out propped up on her boppy watching the game and smiling!

On a NBA related side-note: in my dream last night I totally met LeBron James at a funeral, and told him he should come play for the Chicago Bulls. Of course, he wouldn't say either way where he was planning on signing next season...

Back to reality: Thinking about subleasing our condo and moving out early so we can get a nice place sooner, Charles put the thought in my head earlier and I am starting to think it's not a bad idea! I should be getting a big check in the next week or two as a payout from my 401K I had with Nordstrom now that I'm not an employee, and that would be a great to have for a security deposit! I've been apartment searching and there are so many great places available now that would be perfect for us..

More on all that later. I need to pay more attention to this game while the Celtics get crushed.

A few things I've learned so far....

First: Nothing's lovelier than you.. My baby is prettier, cuter, smarter, and ultimately better than any other baby on the planet. Just face it, I'm right.

Second: I've officially stretched my capacity to love someone to it's limit. Being a parent makes your heart hurt. Imagining them sad, in pain, or even uncomfortable squeezes your heart strings worse than you've ever felt. I can't even watch sad stories on tv anymore than involve children without risking tearing up.

Third: Good Dad's are sexy. Okay so I sort of already knew this (it's the same concept as the guy who walks a puppy in the park to get chicks, it works!). But seriously I love seeing my man being a good dad and bonding with my baby. Makes me love him even more!

Fourth: Babies know when you're busy. She seems to have a sixth sense about when dinner is done, when I want to take a nap (or sleep in), or when we would just like to have time to ourselves. Always que for her to wake up and fuss a little!

Fifth: My own parents must've been cool at some point. I've looked back at how my parents dressed us, and themselves, the music they listened to, etc, and thought about how

"uncool" they were about everything. Now I realize that the clothes I dress Reagan in, the music we listen to around her, and how we dress is going to be out of date by the time she's conscious of these things.

Sixth: Coffee is the gas that fuels my engine. Pretty simple, I don't know if I could exist without it sometimes. It's definitely a must-have for me, I need to have the energy to accomplish everything I want to get done in a day AND care for the baby simultaneously.

Seventh: Children improve your multitasking skills. I've successfully learned to hold a baby, drink coffee, and fold laundry at the same time. I used to just tackle one task at a time, but now I tackle at least 2 tasks at a time before moving on to the next 2 or 3. I can even nurse and send emails at the same time now. It's a real talent.

Eighth: People are nicer to pregos than moms. This is one negative thing I've learned since the birth of my daughter. When I was pregnant people opened doors for me, gave up their seats on the bus/train, let me ahead in line, etc. Now that I'm pushing a stroller around (and look like I'm 14), people don't move out of the way, block the sidewalk, look annoyed that I'm taking up so much space in the isle at the grocery store, and give me dirty looks for appearing to be a very young single mom when I'm out. I have noticed that I primarily get this treatment when I'm not with Charles, maybe people have subconscious grudges against young single mothers?

Ninth: Babies bring people together. Both of our families have united around wanting to be apart of Reagan's life. Even my co-workers and friends have all come together to help us with our parenting success. The only thing we've bought ourselves for her has been diapers!!! All of her clothes, crib, stroller, and everything in between was given to us by the people in our lives!

Tenth: There is life after parenthood. Even though I didn't plan on becoming lame after the baby was born, I have always had a subconscious misconception that once you become a parent, your life is really over. No more friends, social life, originality, fun, or me time. This is not at all true, I'm enjoying being a parent so much more than I could have ever imagined. Makes everything I do feel like it's meaningful, because bettering myself or surroundings benefits my baby too. I have more purpose than I ever have before.

I need...

COFFEE!!!

Charles left at 6:30 this morning for a video shoot, and I've been struggling to get in some more Z's ever since then! Seeing that Daddy was up, Reagan decided she should be up too! She kept making faces, laughing, and babbling to get my attention.. it definitely worked.

So here I am awake! We bought new bottles/nipples for Reagan at BabiesRUs after talking to lots of other mommies about which brand their babies liked best. We got 2 Playtex bottles, hopefully this helps! I offered her one a little earlier, she didn't cry but she didn't drink it either. I think I need to get Charles to offer it to her instead of me when he's home.

Job Update: I quit!!!! I have been wanting to be on my way out of there for awhile anyway, I wasn't enjoying it the same way I used to. So when they tried to give me an ultimatum like do whats best for Reagan or work at Nordstrom, it didn't seem like a hard decision. She is my number one priority! Don't these people have children?? Maybe they thought I was bluffing about this, but I'm definitely not. My super awesome manager, CJ, called me the next day when she heard about it and told me she'd fight for me to keep my job if I wanted, but I think it's for the best! I'm going to miss my Nordy family, they were all I had consistently the first few years I lived on my own in Chicago. I appreciate them so much!

On the suggestion of a friend I submitted a profile on Nannies4Hire.com yesterday. It would be perfect because I could a) bring Reagan to work with me b) have fun playing with kids! and c) make money!

I also got a job selling subscriptions for the Chicago Tribune at summer events and festivals, which pays verrryyy well. On top of that I am going to create the newsletter for a women's comedy group called MessyWorks, meeting with the guy tomorrow to talk about ideas! So even though I quit Nordstrom, I have other options.

Upcoming: Excited to see my family this coming weekend!!!! We're supposed to leave on Friday and come back Sunday. My Grandma is sooo over the top excited to see us and meet Reagan and Charles! I know they are both gonna be a hit with the whole fam, we love new people :) I miss them all too, I wish they could all see Reagan more often. This will be a much needed "vaca" for me; I've always felt like going to my Grandparent's ranch is like a vacation ever since I was little. Everything is so laid back and relaxed, the food is amazing, there are always activities, and the company is pleasant! All the mixings of a good vacation in my opinion.

Well time to reheat my coffee, just sipped it again and it's a little chilly.

I'll choose my baby over my job ANY day

Originally, my job told me after my first 6 weeks of maternity leave, I could apply for additional "bonding time" for up to 6 weeks. They also told me my time off would be paid.

Well turns out that's not true. I didn't get a dime because I didn't have 1200 hours put in from the beginning of the year to when I took my leave at the end of April (not 1200 hours in the last 12 months, literally from the start of 2010 in January - so mother's who have babies early in the year are SCREWED).

Then when I called to ask for a few more weeks of bonding time so I could teach her to bottle feed and see my family in Missouri, they tell me I don't qualify for that because of the same stupid hours deal!!!!!

I had given Reagan a bottle a few times before and she didn't seem to mind, and so for the last few days I started working with her to make sure she was comfortable with me being actually gone. I left for an interview yesterday and was gone a total of about 3 hours, and I returned home to her being absolutely hysterical and refusing to eat out of a bottle... Haven't had much luck since then.

I called my job to tell them my dilema, and guess what? Turns out if I don't return to work this weekend I'm forfeiting my job. Awesome. So I'm being forced to choose between doing what's best for my baby and caring for her, or keeping my job.

Guess I'm not working there anymore. I love my baby much more than my job.

Blabbing about my baby :)

Feeling a little like Snow White lately (not because I have seven brothers.. lol!), but because I'm PALE!!!!! Charles came back from Vegas super dark (he finally looks like he's black ;-p ) and Reagan is starting to develop some color as well the last few days! She's going to have the prettiest skin I'm so jealous. She's already getting that gorgeous golden complexion thanks to her being 1/4th black and 1/4th Filipino, not my fair German complexion! I might need to go get a tan (or at least a fo-tan) so I look like I'm part of the family!


[Drastic topic change:] I've read about how infants can imitate basic facial expressions very early, and we've been testing that the last few days with Reagan. Last night we got her to stick her tongue out whenever we did! And she opens her mouth and lifts her head now trying to "kiss" us back when we kiss her face... absolutely adorable.

She's definitely getting quite the personality already, she was fussing a few minutes ago and since she'd just ate and her diaper was clean, I suggested maybe she was bored. Charles turned on the tv and set her where she could see it, and wah-la! She was happy! All the moving colors, shapes and faces keep her pretty entertained, it's pretty hilarious.

Time for her to eat, more later!

That's what "they" say!

Just about had a heart attack this morning when I woke up at 7am and realized my daughter had slept the entire night without waking up... I jumped out of bed like a jackrabbit and raced to her crib and put my hand on her chest to make sure she was okay. Sleeping peacefully of course!

Her health and safety is never far from my mind... seems like parents today are constantly bombarded and reminded about the gazillions of dangers, diseases, and risks your baby faces daily. It's not that I doubt there are dangers, but sometimes I wish I could get it out of my head so I can just enjoy my baby, worry-free!

When Reagan started being fussy one day and nursing much more frequently, I googled "sudden increase in newborn breastfeeding" to find out what might be causing the change (turns out its signs of a growth spurt), and my google search generated link after link about SIDS! All because I included the word "sudden" in my search terms. Let me tell you that freaked me out a tiny bit. "Experts" have countless suggestions for how to prevent SIDS, although "they" have no idea what causes it (anybody else confused by that notion?). "They" tell you babies need to sleep on their backs, never sleep in bed with you, never leave them on a water bed or bean bag, and a bunch of other common sense that really just comes down to logic when caring for your child.

Yesterday I saw an ad on tv about whooping cough in babies; it starts out by saying "you might think the safest place for your baby is wrapped in your arms, but it could be deadly." After scaring the crap out of parents in the first 10 seconds of the commercial, it goes on to say 80% of babies that have contracted whooping cough got it from a parent or relative, and urges parents to get a vaccine for themselves to prevent the virus. Talk about some serious scare tactics.

The doctor gave me a shot schedule for Reagan to complete her first year. I shudder thinking of my baby getting needles poked in her every few months! I expressed this to a nurse after delivery, and received a somewhat chiding speech about the risks of not getting your child vaccinated and how any parent irresponsible enough to not get their child vaccinated should be examined.

Ironically, I was not a vaccinated baby. I'm the second child of 8, and the only one of us to receive any vaccines was my older brother. My mother told me when she was at the doctor with me they gave her forms to sign before I got my vaccines that freed them from liability if I became mentally retarded, had an allergic reaction, or had a fatal reaction to the shot. She said she couldn't agree to those terms, and researched the risks associated with child vaccines. My mother was "appalled" by what she learned, and none of us ever received a single shot since then. Myself and my 6 younger brothers are as healthy as they come, and I definitely cannot judge my mother for the parenting decision she made for us.

With so many new healthy and safety standards, and toys and items constantly recalled, does this mean our parents were bad parents? How did we all turn out healthy and okay? I don't want to go as far to say that I don't believe what the "experts" recommend these days, but I do wonder sometimes if all the things I'm doing because it's what the "experts" say is slightly overkill. I think the key is having peace about your parenting skills, you know your baby better than anybody else. The experts might be out to scare the living daylights out of me to care for my child properly, but it doesn't mean they're wrong about it either. My opinion? It's better safe than sorry.